Wednesday, August 14th, 2002
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7:54 pm
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Saturday, February 23rd, 2002
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10:35 am
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Friday, February 22nd, 2002
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11:32 pm - from deep inside
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My mouse got out of his cage today, but mom helped me get him back in.
I moved my room around today after school.. that was the begining of my feeling better-ness. I don't know what's been up with me lately....
Bj came and picked me up, we made a short stop at karlie's house.. heh.. hun if your not feeling better, I swear I'll strip on your front door.
We headed over to his house for his family birthday type thing. It was nice. His family is amazing. i've never really liked a boi friends family (of course I've never told them though) but Bj's is great. Hah.. they are so funny. and nice :)
The cake was good.. I started to get really tired around 10:30 so he drove me home.. and we listened to the cd.. he left about 10 minutes ago.. and here I am crying.. but In a good way.. thsi cd makes me feel better..
I wish I could isocalte myself from everyone for just a while.. except for my parents and those 3 people in my life that are meaning a lot right now... although.. one of them may not think so..
I think I'll go draw or do something artistic.. I haven't felt that in a while
current mood:  artistic
current music: dave matthews band - cry freedom
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(17 candy-coated-lies | whats-your-lie)
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2:10 pm - all those bitter subjects.. and then I go to you
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&nbps; All today has been was sensless talk on the stupid olympics and all we've done in most classes is "go to the library and watch it on tv" but I wonder off.
It kind of hurt today when Tracey left Meg and I to go with Derek to pick up his paycheque and deposit it.... it hurt that she told me that she was going to take me out for lunch today at this restaurant that had been planned for a while (because I took her out for supper at delicious) and I didn't eat breakfast because I thought we we're going out for lunch.. and it hurt that she made plans with him.. it hurts that she doesn't even want to go out with him and.. yet.. ::sigh::
Ali came to school today to drop off her textbooks and I saw her and went up to her and hugged her. I didn't want to let her go.. I missed her so much.. Ali I'm sorry we don't see each other as much as I wish we could.. I've just had a very difficut and busy week.. she seemed annoyed by me though
And now I want to go home and just be alone.. yet I wouldn't be able to stand it.. there's something here missing and I can't tell what.. but it's crawling under my skin and causing an invisable rash.. and I'm not sure If I'm going to be good company tonight.. I don't want to spoil it for him.. but I want to see him.. and I would feel so bad..
I suppose all I need right now Is someone to be there for me and just listen and feel the same way I do.. I just want to talk to someone.. and get lost in a conversaion.. the ones we had with tea and incencse.. I miss the good ol' days.. but it's ironic.. because they're happening now and in a few days I'll miss today.
current mood:  uncomfortable
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(6 candy-coated-lies | whats-your-lie)
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Thursday, February 21st, 2002
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11:37 pm
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okay heather.. don't let them bother you.. sure they are supposed to be your friends and all even though they betray you.. but hey.. shit happens hey? yeah.. right.. but common heather... don't let them bother you.. someone loves you.. they don't matter anymore
current music: Ani DiFranco - If He Tries Anything
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(4 candy-coated-lies | whats-your-lie)
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11:06 pm
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today was messed..I don't want to even explain it.. but it ended good... very good
current music: dashboard confessional - Track 03
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(whats-your-lie)
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3:56 pm
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listening to mad caddies and crying.. I don't know why
someone help me..
current mood:  depressed
current music: Mad Caddies - Macho Nachos
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(7 candy-coated-lies | whats-your-lie)
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
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11:15 pm - injason blow
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So today was my boi's birthday.
In the morning I really didn't want to get out of bed, but I forced myself to and dragged myself to school. In the middle of the double in A slot I decided it best to go home and sleep for a little bit.. Did so until tracey called me at 12 telling me the lock was gone from the locker.. I got lonely so I went back to school and saw craig there and hung out with him until tracey came. She had a new lock and her binder was missing from the locker. I wish Derek wasn't so fucking immature at lunch time always.. gah
Went to my classes...froze in Science class.. took the bus afterwards down to catch the 47 to transcona and some stupid old lady started making rude comment sto me. I had the nerve to tell her that it's none of her business but I just turned away. got down to the mall.. realized I didn't have channge at all for a payphone.. so I finally got soem and tried calling BJ to pick me up but the line was busy and he suprised me showing up anyways before hand..
he liked the present I got him.. I feel bad though for not having it all together yet.. heh.. Then his family took us out to olive garden for supper. I t was really good. I got the one thing that always makes me sick.. but this time It didn't go figure.
Went back to his house, had cake, stupid 5 g/f's pfft!!! and he opened his presents.. then we went down to his room and snuggled for a bit.. then came to my house..
ha ha reading that made my day. thank you .. pfft. idiot.. and those shallow throated people I think should die.
I almost started crying today.. I think I was hit by a truck with a striking resemblance of reality on it. It makes me so happy but yet so sad.. and I'm so scared to .. I think it might be too late.. you just can't get rid of it.. even when your discussing the possibilities .. and you know it'll hurt.. but you just can't help it.. and I want to cry and smile more now.. because I'm so fucking scared
current mood:  happy
current music: dashboard confessional
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(whats-your-lie)
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9:45 am
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I came home I didn't want to be there... hopefully I can still get out tonight
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(whats-your-lie)
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7:44 am
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Tuesday, February 19th, 2002
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9:03 pm
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So I just made my long awaited bondage pants, I used black and white zebra print material, they are skintight but the knees need to get a little tighter. I got the zippers on the back.. now I just need to finsih them off with 3 more zippers and the straps.. which shall be easy ...
I
m making a shirt now.. it's kida col I have it done up with eyelettes
ahh I have a tight as fuck muscle right under my right armpit.. ouch ouch ouch
my room is a mess..
current music: Ani Difranco - Shameless
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(1 candy-coated-lie | whats-your-lie)
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Monday, February 18th, 2002
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9:40 pm - dr. yumagoto there is an iopen heart surgery in sectiona isle 3 where are you!!!!
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well today was an experiance. hah! If you call it that.
School wasn't that bad. i almost got in a fight with tandace... I was asking for it though. muah then after school off to work I went.
Chris was there so he made it all the funner and Corine too. hah easy survey's and we decided to take an hour long break today and went to Subway and attempted to break the elevator on the way. Then we were eating in the lunchroom and some guy kept talking about his muscles and measuring his balls so I told him off and what I think. And then I voiced my opinion when he said it's wrong to ask fight a girl.
Now my Knee Is itchy.
We got off work at 7:30 so now my cheque will be like $70.00 bah oh well Chris and I took the bus to the mall and there was some skinhead guy on it abd then we went to the mall and acted like idiots, pissing people off, putting socks into the crotches of maniquins, pointing at people who were staring at us and I wish we would've have rode the bikes around walmartt but we didn't instead we played catch alont he iles and lost about 5 balls. Some woman yelled at us for going up the escelators the wrong way.. I suppose she doesn't like excercise.
On my way home Jordan was in the bus shack with a few of her 'friends' and saying shit about us and acting all 'thug' like, so tomarrow I'm goign to go up to her and ask her if she has a problem with me and if she does.. hee hee oh boy
Well now I'm tired and yeah I hope my boi calls me soon.. happy birthday soon babe
current mood:  indifferent
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(1 candy-coated-lie | whats-your-lie)
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7:55 am - eating bread and water
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hah I woke up this morninga nd had myself convinced it was sunday still until about 30 minuts too late. But yet i still have extra time..
I'm not too up for school today.. I know I had homework and I Know I didn't do it. i'd do It now.. but I don't know which subject it was... Probably math.. wouldn't be soemthing new
Too much tea and too many carbonated drinks hurt my tummy. buah I'm so thirsty though
I wonder If I need a jacket today... Chelsea stoped posting the weather In her journal. She needs to do that again
ewww I didn't even notice the time.. I gotta go
current mood:  exhausted
current music: Ani Difranco - Out of Range
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(1 candy-coated-lie | whats-your-lie)
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Sunday, February 17th, 2002
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11:33 pm - One day
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Bj was over today. It was nice. :) yep that's all I have to say about it is Big Smiles :) lol oh how lame am I?
I think this is the first day I actually sat down and listened to the whole CD that Gaddy had made me. Heh I miss that guy, :S oh well
I should sleep soon.. I have sucky work and sucky school
current mood:  tired
current music: dead kennedys - kill the poor
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(whats-your-lie)
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12:00 pm - the rest of the world wants ignorance
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Saturday, February 16th, 2002
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10:33 pm - where are they now?
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I was supposed to work 8 hours today. Ended up being only 2.5 bah!!! crap is right!!!
'So i took the 47 Down to KP to meet up with BJ and he picked me up and we went back to his house. haha ha it was funny when he couldn't find his Insanely unsound tape but then I found it and yeah we watched it. awww.. you had to have been there. Then we were on the computer for a bit. We went shopping for a bit... I was in Future Shop and I've been thinking of it for quite a while and I think after this paycheque I'm going to start saving up for a computer.. shouldn't be bad.. maybe 4 or 5 paycheques If I don't work too much.... but I'm going to have to get a custom PC because I refuse to buy a computer with Windows XP on it. BLAH!
We came back here and played computer games. Watched ET again and the rest of Swordfish and then had supper and snuggled for a bit..
was a good day in all but I think I was annoying him quite a bit.. I'm sorry babe If I was. I just.. get.. Yeah like I told you
current mood:  amused
current music: dmented are go - cripple in the woods
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(1 candy-coated-lie | whats-your-lie)
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6:01 am
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ahhh rodney woke me up at 4 a.m messaging useless junk oh boy did I get mad.
last night Bj camne over and we went to value village and I found a few pairs of pants but only got the zebra print ones.. wooo they are nice.. I'm going to make them into bondage pants.
then we came back and watched swordfish it was a really good movie me likes alot.
ohh my typing and spelling is bad right now cause I can't see the screen my eyes are too tired.. damni should go shower now and get ready for work
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(whats-your-lie)
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Friday, February 15th, 2002
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6:09 pm - star-studded like a new identity
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It's days like these that I just want to get on a bus and not know it's destination. Just to see what city I'd end up in and go from there. But of course I don't have enough money and I have school. It would be so nice though.
And it's days like these that I want to cry and wish I was back home.... be sorry for my mistakes and embarrased about my behavior. Many memories come back on days like these, memories of what could have been and what never lasted.
I really want to go to the Weakerthans show, but I think it's sold out. That sucks really bad.
Am I comming undone?
current mood:  lonely
current music: weakerthans - (follow CD)
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(11 candy-coated-lies | whats-your-lie)
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7:50 am
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7:22 am
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heh so I plugged in my extra alarm clock last night so I could actually wake up this morning and I did... but I almost slept through that one as well... heh. oh well I had plenty time this morning to get everything done. :) just need to eat now.. mmm I'm craving tea
current mood:  good
current music: nine inch nails - hurt
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(whats-your-lie)
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glittergashes's journal
